DARVO – Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. The peasants here weren’t clued up on that fortunately.

My campaign was dominated by a debate over what it means to be “local” — and whether candidates’ backgrounds match the labels used in campaign literature. My leaflets criticised the Conservative candidate for having been born in Liverpool, describing his selection as “yet another insult” to our peasants (sorry, that should read constituents).

I had been describing myself as local to Putney for the 10 years right up to May 2012. I appeared for the first time on the electoral roll here in 2013. Can you be local in two places 200 miles apart at once? I got away with it.